A pausa das férias aproxima-se do fim, e com ela, ciclos que se fecham e renovam.
Tenho reflectivo muito sobre a dinâmica das comunidades online e do seu impacto na nossa construção pessoal, religiosa e espiritual. O que aprendo, o que dou, no que participo, o que represento. Nada disto é uma soma ingénua. Somos o que escolhemos ser e online essa disposição é elevada à potência. Ontem, esta reflexão foi conduzida para um quarto mais escuro. O do luto.
Estou presente em grupos no Facebook relativos ao Paganismo, sejam lusófonos (como o Paganices) ou o anglófonos (como o Temple of Sumer) e a língua franca, sendo assumidamente o inglês, muitas vezes permite-nos uma partilha mais abrangente. Por causa desta ponte maravilhosa entre a internet e as pessoas, tenho o privilégio de conhecer pessoas de todo o mundo e enriquecer-me profundamente com as trocas de ideias que realizamos. Em 2018 conheci um iraquiano simpático que partilhava comigo o interesse na Religião Suméria e no Paganismo, mas as nossas conversas foram muito mais relativas aos nossos outros interesses comuns: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, Berserk, Ética, Gastronomia Kurda e Iraquiana, Narrativas Sociais, Religiosas e Culturais...entre outros. Este meu amigo partiu ontem para o outro lado do véu. Era novo (29 anos) já tinha saído do Iraque para a Turquia e estava a planear viajar até a Grécia e alcançar outro país mais seguro (mencionou a Alemanha uma vez). E eu queria que ele o conseguisse. Quis muito que chegasse são e salvo até à Grécia. Que conseguisse alcançar a Alemanha. Que pudesse viajar até Portugal e dar-lhe um abraço bem português para lhe dizer o quanto o admirava. Ou vice versa. Combinámos nós uma vez, se a eventualidade me levasse ao norte do Iraque, ele ia ter connosco e apresentava-nos o melhor do seu país. Ele era muito orgulhoso do seu país. Profundamente dissidente do sistema teocrático, mas encantado com a história antiga da Mesopotâmia de onde o seu orgulho brotava. Dentro da comunidade do Temple os Sumer, o Azeez era querido. Anos a lutar contra a maré do padrão de ideias socialmente aceites fizeram-no desvalorizar-se um pouco, e as observações sarcásticas tinham muitas vezes uma ponta de amargura dirigida ao próprio. Ainda assim, com a bagagem que carregava, era pragmático e sabia desviar-se do derrotismo nas conversas. Hoje, eu choro-o. E sei que sou coro da presença que ele ocupava de forma gentil na vida de tantos de nós.
Escolhi escrever o meu testemunho em português e inglês porque a perda do Azeez não se deu só na minha vida mas também na minha comunidade, e por isso, escolho fazê-lo na mesma língua que nos fez amigos e parte da mesma tribo.
O Azeez convidou-me a contemplar as realidades que estão a Direitos Constitucionais (e Humanos) de distância da minha, e fê-lo sempre de forma sóbria e sem espaço para desculpas. Viveu cru e duro, mas carregava com esperança tudo o que planeava. Devo muito ao meu amigo. Devo muito a este irmão do outro lado do mundo. Devemos todos os que tiveram o privilégio de o chamar de amigo.
Hoje esta luz é para ti Azeez. Honro-te hoje e sempre. Meu querido amigo. Ver-nos-emos novamente.
Até lá, que os Anunna te acolham e que Inanna te receba, com orgulho, como seu filho.
اراك لاحقا
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How do we say goodbye to someone who we cared deeply even though we never embraced?
How do we pay respects and mourn, the beautiful souls we happen to meet all around the world through the web?
Seriously, how to we do it?
We cry for the departure, and remember dearly our conversations and learnings, and we realize that we own so many good things to so many good people.
We as pagans in the 21st century have this magic source of connection: the internet. It made so many things easier, and possible, and it made some others quite difficult. But still, what a blessing.
For so many of us, who are isolated in our beliefs, silence is a strategy for protection, Against prejudice, misunderstandings or even harm (physical, emotional and phsycological). The Internet means, for so many of us, a safe haven, a place to meet our kind, our tribe, our people. And we enjoy it immensly, by learning, teaching, uniting with values that resonate with us. Such a blessing that we hold in our world. There are so many good relations that strive from the online format, and even romances/families. But relations are organic, we need to invest, to be there, to interact with our friends who may be millions of miles from us, in a completely different timezone. But we do it. We invest. We share pictures, jokes, memes, ideas, gifs and emojis. We laugh, debate, confront and trust these people. Some will be in our life for years. Some weeks or months. Some will only be away when the internet connection or lag stops them.
I am purposely directing this reflection to the good/positive/healthy relations we establish online. The others, who are also very real and dangerous, are not present in this set. Maybe in some other reflection.
Back to the cauldron of thought and feels.
In the year 2018 I met a guy from Iraq that had just been aproved by me and my team of Adms in the Temple of Sumer Group (on Facebook). This guy was a really interesting being, from his presentation. He considerate himself a bit of a dissident from his upbringing, he questioned everything about religion, status quo, or any other pre-granted idea or position and was constantly helding the values he percived as just and right. We shared some common interests in anime, in music, in politics even. His soul was tired from fighting all the time, but shone brightly in the middle of all that uncertainty that was his life. He was held captive by the iraquian authorities and coerced many times, but the last one made him resolve himself to leave the counttry he loved and asking for asylum from the UN from Turkey. We talked about those events and I worried for his well being. He assured me that it was all for the best and that everything was going too be all right, he was leaving with his brother and they were full of hope. In Turkey, we talked about cultural differences, prejudice, and freezing cold wether. I dreamed about him once. I was in Iraq and I found him crossing the street in front of me, I was genuinely so happy to see him. Eventualy, his time in Turkey was shorten by the authorities and this time, he was planing to travel to Greece, by boat or any other mean necessary. My heart ached so much. Here, in Portugal, the refugees reality is not in every news chanel every day but the images and news are hard to see. They hurt. To imagine my dearest friend in such a vulnerable situation, and one so close to tragedy, was unbearable. Again he soothed me, saying that everything was going to alright, that everything happens for a reason and the universe was wise if we let him show us what he had for us. I tried my best to believed that too. But he never got to leave Turkey.
...
Yesterday, my friend passed away. He was in a coma due to an infection. He got to the hospital too late. My beautiful friend died and I can't begin to explain how much it hurts. His brother (blessed be!) kept us informed about his health situation. I say "we" because Temple of Sumer has a strong sumerian community that held vigilant around this situation: we asked, we searched, we tried to help. Even so, his death was devastating for so many of us. This person was loved and cherished all around the world. And each of us is managing his departure with all we have. He was young, kind, bright and full of hope. He called himself pagan, and we met because of Paganism. It was a honor to know him. It was a honor to be his friend. It aches like hell/kur. Inanna sure is proud of him. I believe that death is not the end but only a new begining. And I really hope we meet again somewhere.
And even though it hurts badly, this is a relation that made me grow and so I will always honor my friend in the most proper way possible within my heart with tears, my memories with laughter, and my faith with hope.
Azeez, yor are missed and cherished. Rest in peace my beautiful friend, my brother from the other side of the world.
Death of Gilgamesh
(from Me-Turan)
1. | Am gal-e ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-/da\-an-/zi-zi\ |
| 2. | en dgilgameš2 ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 3. | ĜIŠ šag4 1(AŠ)-ša4 DU ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 4. | ur-saĝ zag da-ra ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 5. | usu šag4 1(AŠ)-ša4 ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 6. | niĝ2-erim2 tur-tur-ra ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 7. | igi kug-zu dug4-dug4-ga ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 9. | ḫur-saĝ ed2-de zu ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 11. | ĝiš-nu2 nam-tar-ra-ke4 ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
| 12. | ki-nu2 u3-u8-a-u8 ba-nu2 ḫur nu-mu-un-da-an-zi-zi |
(Trad.)
The great wild bull has lain down and is never to rise again. Lord Gilgameš has lain down and is never to rise again. He who was unique in …… has lain down and is never to rise again. The hero fitted out with a shoulder-belt has lain down and is never to rise again. He who was unique in strength has lain down and is never to rise again. He who diminished wickedness has lain down and is never to rise again. He who spoke most wisely has lain down and is never to rise again. He who knew how to climb the mountains has lain down and is never to rise again. He has lain down on his death-bed and is never to rise again. He has lain down on a couch of sighs and is never to rise again.
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The Death of Gilgameš
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